My daughter is almost 15, and has already experienced having friends that were there for a short time, and then disappeared. It is time that she realizes what to expect with friendships and with so-called friendships. She needs to understand it is very rare to find a true good friend who will stick by you no matter what.
There are many who claim to be your friends who act as if they are doing that to a degree. However, whenever they are tired of you, they will just take off without any warning. They will stab you in the back. True friends will never grow tired of you, or hurt you in anyway.
Because I have had a lot of negative experiences with fair-weather friends, friends disguised as enemies who end up backstabbing you in the end- I can easily share these experiences with her or anyone else really. These are red flags to look for in “friends” who are likely going to end up being trouble.
1. Badmouthing– If a friend starts speaking badly of others all of the time, then you can bet that friend is saying not so nice things behind your back too. Don’t get too close to someone like that.
2. Paranoia– This also goes hand in hand with the badmouthing. However, if a friend is expressing fear all of the time that people are after him or her, stay away. The closer you get, that so-called friend will be telling others that you are after him or her.
3. Constant Complimenting– I know this one sounds counter-intuitive, but if a friend is going out of his or her way to constantly butter you up, then that can be sign of trouble there. You could end up doing one thing that the person doesn’t like- then you will be the evil one!
4. One-Sided Conversations– If all this friend does is talk to you about his or her problems or even triumphs, and doesn’t listen to you- then ditch ’em.
5. You have Benefits– Do you have something that this friend wants? Does this friend only appear whenever he or she has a problem? Is this friend absent whenever you have a problem? This friend is not a friend, he or she is a user.
It is unfortunate that there are very few real friends, and it’s sad that my daughter has to learn that reality. But better that she is prepared than devastated later on.