Who are you to Judge?

“Hi Pot, meet Kettle”- that is what I think about when I see how other moms treat each other.

Women are really supposed to support and cheer on other women. It is not easy being a woman, especially being a mother. It’s hard! So moms really should be supporting and cheering on other moms. However, sadly this doesn’t happen enough. Many moms sit there and judge other moms. And I understand it is human nature to judge others if you do not agree with what they are doing. That is fine, but it is another thing to not keep your mouth shut about it. If you are a mom who doesn’t like what another mom is doing- and you have judgmental thoughts, then it is best to keep it to yourself. Always.

For instance, last year I had written a guest post on SheKnows about how I plan to send my son with autism to a home. I would say that 50% of the comments I received were supportive, and 50% of the comments I received were bashing and judgmental.

I can guarantee that half of those bashing comments I received were from sanctimommies who have no clue what raising a child with special needs is about. Some of those comments were from others who thought depression and mental illness was a joke. Some of those comments were from self-righteous right wingers. Some of those comments were from mothers who had more challenges and thought I was taking the easy way out. The point is, these people flat out judged me without spending a moment in my shoes.

The reason I wrote this article was because I wanted to make other parents with special needs kids aware that planning for their kids’ future is crucial. But it truly is amazing and not so surprising that half of the comments I received were extremely judgmental. Being so open about your judgmental thoughts like that is no different from bullying!

It is one thing if the child is in any danger or abuse is happening. That warrants judgment and intervention. But if the child is loved, fed and cared for even if you disagree with how the parents are doing it- then keep your trap shut. It’s as simple as that. Including my plans for my son’s future.