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expressive mom

There is no one out there at all who can ever truly prepare you for parenthood. I even remember how it was when I was pregnant with my daughter. Other parents had congratulated me and warned me that my life was going to change forever. I always smiled and nodded, and said “I know”. However did I really know by how much my life would change? No. No first time expecting parent will ever know until after that child is brought into this world. And this is why a lot of first time parents deal with post partum depression and other types of anxiety- which is not helped by the mother’s shifting hormones after giving birth. However, first time dads go through a lot of depression and anxiety and the transformation is to blame- not the hormones in their cases.

No matter what I, or any experienced parent can say can ever truly prepare expectant parents or those who are thinking of becoming parents for what is in store for them. However one thing that I can say to give you an idea of what to expect when it comes to having kids is that once that child is brought into this world, your wants and some needs are going to go on the back burner.

Unless you have a lot of money to burn, those trips you took as a couple will happen a lot less often. You will be going out a lot less often as a couple each weekend. That time you blocked out for watching a movie at 9pm will likely not happen so peacefully with a baby in the picture. Instead you may be too busy having to calm your colicky baby down and comforting him or her. Those weekends when you slept in until noon are also going to go. Oh and even if you have a lot of money to burn, and you are hiring nannies so that you can continue to live the life you want- those kids will never bond to you or know you. They will think of the nannies as their parents, not you!

In other words, you are going to have to prepare yourself that your wants and some needs are just going to come last. If you can prepare yourself to sacrifice a lot, then you will be somewhat prepared (not completely) for parenthood. However, if you don’t feel you have what it takes to give up your wants; and if you have a need to travel the world, go out every weekend, can’t ever imagine giving up your 9pm movie time- then you need to be realistic about the fact that parenthood is not for you. And that is okay because parenthood is not for everyone. That does not make you selfish. In fact, that makes you very smart to realize this fact.

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