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A mother and daughter who never argue is a rare pairing. From clothes and hairstyles to the especially prickly areas of politics and having kids, no topic is safe from disagreement. Disagreements can start with the earliest bonding experiences, peak in adolescence, and even continue into adulthood when the daughter has kids of her own. However, despite these battles, the underlying love remains undefeated. Even when you disagree, there are ways to show your mom you love her. Here’s how you can show your motherly sparring partner some love.

Disagree Respectfully, Then Change the Subject

Sometimes voicing disagreement is like trying to pet a cat that’s just not in the mood. Try “Mom, I see your point, and I respect your opinion, but I just don’t feel the same way. Why don’t you tell me about something you love to do that we could do together?”

If your mom just won’t let it go, simply listen respectfully and say something like “I can tell you feel strongly about this.” After a while your mom will likely get the message.

Ask for Her Help

Nothing says, “I love you” to a mother quite like asking her advice, even when you’re at loggerheads. It’s like saying, “I may not agree with your take on my life choices, but I still trust your judgment on how to plant a garden, fix a bike, or remove a wine stain from a white shirt.” It shows that regardless of the disagreements, you still value her wisdom and experience. Plus, moms love to feel needed, and this is a surefire way to make her day.

Throw Your Parents a Party

What better way to show your mom you care about her than to organize a party in her honor? In fact, why not throw a surprise party for both your parents? Try choosing a date that’s significant to both of them, such as a birthday, anniversary, or graduation. Invite your parents’ friends, cook their favorite dishes, and let them enjoy themselves as guests rather than as hosts.

Celebrate Her Interests, Even If They’re Not Your Interests

Does your mom have a passion that you’ve always found as exciting as watching paint dry? Well, it’s time to strap on your enthusiasm helmet and take that pottery class or watch a marathon of her favorite historical dramas with her. By temporarily stepping into her world, you can show her that her happiness matters to you.

You can even do this if your mom is devoted to a different religious tradition than you. For example, if she’s an evangelical Christian and you’ve adopted Buddhism, show her you respect her commitment with a Mother’s Day gift that acknowledges her faith.

Showing your mom you love her despite your disagreements is about embracing differences, finding common ground, and sometimes, just going with the flow. At the end of the day, love trumps all.

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