Perfect parenting? Really? Is that a thing? No, it is not. Kids don’t come with instructions. Especially if they have special needs. Well, typical kids don’t come with instructions either. Unless the parent is putting their child at obvious risk (and I am not talking about leaving your child in the car at the gas station for a split second to get fuel and pay for it if you don’t pay for the pump), then mind your business. It is the shaming and the harsh criticisms that are thrown at moms doing their best that causes them to break down and cry and question their parenting skills.
If the mom is too tired to cook because of having to work or having to care for a sick child all day, then don’t shame her for ordering unhealthy takeout. If the mom chooses not to breastfeed and decides to formula-feed for whatever reason, she is feeding her baby! Breast is not always best by the way. You don’t know the story. These are the things that make moms question their parenting which can lead to mental health problems.
Moms can end up suffering from depression and anxiety if they are not just shamed but are influenced by sources that make them believe that they are doing it all wrong. As long as you are doing your best with your kids, and you are caring for them in the best way possible, and you love them – then you are doing a great job. If you are not feeding them organic food, or if you didn’t breastfeed them, or if you are allowing screens to babysit them at times when you really need that time to yourself – then that is okay! That is okay, despite what anyone else says!! You are a mom that is winging it, like the ones who are busy judging as well by the way.
Masony happily talks about all the crappy, stressful, less-than-perfect parts of motherhood. Like crying sometimes while doing the laundry. And having to schedule sex. And what she really wants for Mother’s Day (some peace and quiet, please. And perhaps a mimosa).
Then there’s how she felt completely clueless the first time she had a child.
“I feel like you read ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting,’ and then they’re just like, ‘Here’s a baby. Good luck,’ ” Masony says. “And they let you leave the hospital with this baby! And you’re like, ‘Are you sure?’ You should probably check some references.’
“I am not that responsible. I wouldn’t let me leave with a baby!”