Parenting is hard! There is no doubt about it. And as a parent, you just do your best because that is all you can do. Kids don’t come with instructions. And some parents fall into parenting styles that they had never envisioned themselves falling into because the style may not be fitting with who they are. But sometimes after dealing with stress and trauma, parents can end up falling into less than desirable parenting styles. Let’s take a look at the four parenting styles that parents have adopted:
The Four Parenting Styles
This is one of the least desirable parenting styles around because this is when parents are extremely controlling and do not let their kids have any freedom. They control every move they make, and even everything they say. They even tell their kids how to think. Parents who have adopted this parenting style may have been raised by parents who parented them the same way or may have been through something traumatic that caused them to become extremely controlling. They are not responsive and are extremely demanding. A child who asks an authoritarian parent for permission to do something fun will be told no and nothing more.
Kids who are raised by authoritarian parents usually end up having low self-esteem and low-self confidence, and they are fearful in general. They may have done well at school and are hard-working, but they have extremely poor social skills and grow up very anxious. They might become bullies as they fake their frustrations out on others. On the flip side, they could be bullied due to being weak. They also rarely reach their full potential due to fear of making a mistake since their parents put the fear into them if that happened. Additionally, they are more likely to end up with depression, especially if they experienced bullying in addition to being raised by overly controlling parents.
This parenting style is the polar opposite of the authoritarian parent. These parents indulge their kids with material things and allow them to get away with everything. They are incredibly lenient and do not like confrontation because they don’t want to see their kids upset. Parents who fall into this style likely grew up in poverty and wanted to make sure that their kids got things that they never have received when they were kids. With that said, they overcompensate and this is why they allow their kids to get away with things that many parents would not. They also may fall the permissive parenting style because perhaps their parents were more authority types and thwarted their own creativity and they made a vow to never be that type of parent so they fell at the other end of the spectrum. Kids who ask their parents for permission for something will be told to go right ahead and to have fun! These parents are not very demanding and are extremely responsive.
However, kids of permissive parents are far more likely to have an entitlement complex and get into legal trouble. They may be more successful than kids of authoritarian parents, and are confident, and maybe popular due to having better social skills. But at the end of the day, they will be disliked due to these traits as well.
This is one of the least desirable parenting styles and it is different from permissive parenting. Uninvolved parents simply don’t care to the point of almost neglect. They will make sure that their kids are fed, cleaned, and bathed, but other than that they are not involved and allow their kids to do what they want. Unlike permissive parents who do that due to them trying to give their kids things that they never received as children, uninvolved parents simply don’t care. Many reasons could be behind uninvolved parenting. It may be due to burnout due to other reasons such as having to care for a sick relative, or they are extremely stressed due to their demanding jobs, or they simply don’t care. They are neither responsive nor demanding. If a child asks their uninvolved parent for permission to do something, the response they will receive is sure, whatever.
And kids that are raised by uninvolved parents become confused and rebellious because they had no role models in their lives, and they are also prone to depression due to believing that they are not important. That is because their parents did not make them feel important and that is why they let them do what they wanted.
This is the best of the other parenting styles because it represents a healthy balance. Authoritative parents are equally demanding and responsive. They set rules and have expectations for their kids, but also allow them freedom when it is appropriate. They will usually only indulge their kids during special events such as birthdays or other holidays, and they will also reward them for good work. These parents are highly involved with their kids, and kids that ask these parents for permission to do something will be told not yet after I check it out but it if it is okay, then sure. Parents that fall into this style of parenting may have not necessarily had an easy or stable upbringing. However, they were able to rise above that and really do their best as parents.
Kids that are raised by authoritative parents usually end up becoming well-rounded in most ways and usually have good mental health unless genetics suggests otherwise. They do well in school, have good social skills, and treat others with respect. This style is the ideal type of parenting around.
Now that you are aware of the four parenting styles, you know which one you will want to fall into and the question is what will you do in order to increase the chances of that happening? Always remember, do your best because kids do not come with instructional manuals. If you do your best as parents, your kids will turn out just fine and one day realizes that you did your best.