The fact of the matter is that being a mom to young kids is lonely and isolating. That is because you are stuck inside having to tend to the little ones while there is very little time for seeing friends without having to tag the baby or the little ones along. This is why there are hundreds of thousands of mom groups on Facebook, and the reason that they are so popular is due to this fact. Due to the fact that when they are caring for the little ones, they are literally stuck inside and need to find an escape for their own mental health.
And all these moms want to do is find friendly moms to talk to, to get support from, and to connect with virtually. However, even though many of these mom groups intend to be just meant for that – for support and to connect with others, they unfortunately oftentimes turn out to be disastrous. And they end up being a cause of stress for moms that they really don’t need since they are dealing with enough stress from having to raise young kids as well as having other issues with their partners or families, or anything else.
The common problems with mom groups are:
- Many moms are unsupportive and judgemental instead of being supportive of various reasons. For instance, if a mom wants to bottle-feed but ends up running into moms in that group that are pro-breastfeeding, then she will be attacked by them and judged. And that ends up making her feel worse. Or there could be a mention of sleep training but there are others who will make it clear that they disapprove and will end up shaming you for it. There are others who will shame moms for wanting to go back to work as they believe that they are responsible for caring for their babies and should stay at home. The list is never-ending!
- Too dramatic – Even if things in the group have been going well, there is always someone there who starts up drama and brings extra stress to the rest of the group which can cause things to become quite ugly.
- Competition – There is always that mom who brags about her kids, her excellent finances, and other things whereas other moms would end up being upset by this especially if they are struggling financially or have kids with special needs, or who are lacking in general.
- MLM peddlers – There are so many moms who are involved in MLM or multi-level marketing companies that try to recruit other moms in these groups which makes things very awkward.
Those are just examples of why mom groups go quite sour. However, the good news is, there are ways around this, and steps that can be taken to avoid these issues. The steps that can be taken to have the right mom group to be a part of are:
Look For Niche Parenting Groups
There is less of a chance that any drama will happen, or have issues with MLM peddlers. Niche parenting groups such as moms being interested in a certain thing getting together, or who are facing a similar challenge, or are part of something else that you have in common with are less likely to be problematic. That is because the rules for having a supportive and pleasant group are strongly put into place with heavy moderation.
Creating Your Own Mom Group
You can always create your own mom group on Facebook in order to have the group you have always wanted. You can always make strict rules with what is allowed and what isn’t allowed. You will reinforce that the group is meant to be supportive and pleasant and any type of judgment, drama, or anything else will not be tolerated. Just be aware if you do end up creating your own mom group that you will be very busy and it can take a lot of your time up. This is why you will want to have a mom friend who would be willing to help you with the moderation of the group since you will not be able to do that yourself.
And you can always talk about your group in comments to articles that are relevant to that on mom pages such as BabyCenter. Just remember there are plenty of other moms that want to be in a supportive place and don’t want the cattiness and judgment that come in other groups.